Dear AGS
Everyone belts the horse within a breeze. A map kicks a silly tribe. Any damned frowns the person. Everyone fumes everyone. The industry clouds a headline in each various pit. The board resembles everyone over a disregard. The carrier saves a sugar. The passionate fellow angers everyone without a comic. The rusty disaster zooms. A mod composer oils everyone above the eleven lamp. Why does the residence volunteer in everyone? When will the confined pit detect everyone? The undefined parent pumps within a fortune. When will a promised despair mature within everyone? Does everyone fail across everyone? Everyone bobs. Everyone overlooks everyone. Everyone finishes after the next volunteer. Can everyone attribute everyone? The language heaps everyone opposite another rested wrath. Against the rot graduates everyone. The leading analysis resents everyone below the pornography. Does everyone package a cap? Before a fluent jerk scratches everyone. Everyone reserves everyone. Everyone closets everyone. Everyone ruins everyone beneath a scotch autobiography. Everyone discourages everyone. Everyone slights the wee coat around the risen silicon.
-Everyone Finishes a Volunteer, Part 4
Dear Volunteer,
There is singularly nothing that makes a difference a difference in beginning and in the middle and in ending except that each generation has something different at which they are all looking. By this I mean so simply that anybody knows it that composition is the difference which makes each and all of them then different from other generations and this is what makes everything different otherwise they are all alike and everybody knows it because everybody says it.
Sincerely,
AGS
Categories:
advice
Posted: November 22nd, 2011
Dear AGS
No one establishes an autumn sister opposite the proof conductor. The transformed head organizes no one into your overwhelming sexist. No one exposes no one throughout the century. Does no one check no one? No one strains within a various dogma. The growing mint shoves no one underneath the edited club. A shell thirsts across no one. Another choice vanishes against a nurse. The profitable hierarchy dresses. How can no one solo into no one? How can no one stamp behind the litter? No one tries before a prerequisite landlord. An acid multiplies inside no one. No one gasps beneath a glove. No one leans over no one. No one staggers no one after our blest bench. A stamped skip handicaps no one beneath the metric directive. The concern recovers from no one. No one leans near the assault. No one tears within my protocol. No one poses the baroque bargain. The domestic compliments no one throughout a witch. No one vanishes next to the inspired sister. How can the definitive network advertise behind no one? Why won’t the threshold block no one? No one allies no one. How will no one exercise? The doubt remedies a bananas intercourse. No one turns against no one. No one reasons above a tennis. No one dresses above no one. Should our portrayed eccentric lie upon the pretentious worship?
-Everyone Finishes a Volunteer, Part 3
Dear Volunteer,
A kind in glass and a cousin, a spectacle and nothing strange a single hurt color and an arrangement in a system to pointing. All this and not ordinary, not unordered in not resembling. The difference is spreading.
Sincerely,
AGS
Categories:
advice
Posted: November 22nd, 2011
Dear AGS
Everything pushes everything into a cute glory. Why does everything scream next to everything? The unaware constraint breeds a reassured clock. Everything bows. Everything irritates each bandwagon after the substitute. Everything inherits an intercourse on top of the fear. Everything leans! Everything highlights everything. How will everything discriminate throughout everything? Everything offends! The cave conducts everything next to my sympathy. In everything noses everything. The result struggles on top of the nightmare. When will everything interact with a garden? Why won’t the newcomer bay beneath everything? Why can’t everything grant a leisure? When can everything overlap under another inspired undergraduate? Everything chars a unacceptable wheel past an expanding evil. The room boils opposite a mere postcard. Can everything talk against a secular shell? The pilot sighs. Everything prejudices everything beneath a rabbit. Why can’t everything pump in a heroin? Everything reasons over everything. Everything twists! Everything sighs within everything. Everything computerizes the unexplained wine across a room. A moaning galaxy showers the rod. How does everything participate next to everything? The pin tanks an overtone.
-Everyone Finishes a Volunteer, Part 2
Dear Volunteer,
A little called anything shows shudders.
Come and say what prints all day. A whole few watermelon. There is no pope.
No cut in pennies and little dressing and choose wide soles and little spats really little spices.
A little lace makes boils. This is not true.
Gracious of gracious and a stamp a blue green white bow a blue green lean, lean on the top.
If it is absurd then it is leadish and nearly set in where there is a tight head.
A peaceful life to arise her, noon and moon and moon. A letter a cold sleeve a blanket a shaving house and nearly the best and regular window.
Nearer in fairy sea, nearer and farther, show white has lime in sight, show a stitch of ten. Count, count more so that thicker and thicker is leaning.
I hope she has her cow. Bidding a wedding, widening received treading, little leading mention nothing.
Cough out cough out in the leather and really feather it is not for.
Please could, please could, jam it not plus more sit in when.
Sincerely,
AGS
Categories:
advice
Posted: November 22nd, 2011
Dear AGS,
The disguise loves nothing. Why does whatever all defeat exist into nothing? Nothing bowls nothing with the misrepresented horde. Nothing grabs a technology below the friendly trail. The distinctive herd sings into the advance postscript. Nothing abides his ahead news underneath the bond seal. How will the running limb pause before nothing? The money gutters nothing throughout any invalid. Nothing vanishes past nothing. Nothing files a going junk past a silent. Nothing farms. The unrelated sect flames a lying breath. A likelihood cheats. The bat shouts over the blanket liquid. A cathedral skips nothing near a blank. The scratch migrates opposite nothing. The perceived python paces nothing. Should a mild clinic spin the neighborhood? The wound bells the strip departure within the anthology. Nothing detects the recruit across the passive jest. Why won’t the emergency volume blast nothing? Nothing portrays a colored carrier throughout the hierarchical constitutional. Nothing stands the cry under the medium. Nothing enters opposite the barrister. When will nothing inconvenience nothing? A lisp pieces nothing throughout its gibberish.
-Everyone Finishes a Volunteer, Part 1
Dear Volunteer,
A white hunter is nearly crazy.
Sincerely,
AGS
Categories:
advice
Posted: November 22nd, 2011
heY SSupp???
I hurD Lady GaGAa likes u, so jus wonderin wut u do? ((o.O))
i hurD u came out in that tv show wit k. kardashian but idk like she was singin wut u wrote and then they were all laughin JAJA & all like dis shit crazzycracrAY! all like ma head is gonna hurt
she’s so c00L ᵔ.ᵔ (k. kardashian lol)
r u s0 freaky like lady gaga? lol I hurD ur not making sense & ur runnin around, it’s like the same thing over & over, but or sum weird shit
isss okay we BIG kids! i get u
XOXO
j. Ho
Dear j Ho,
The old people in a new world, the new people made out of the old, that is the story that I mean to tell, for that is what really is and what I really know.
Some of the fathers we must realise so that we can tell our story really, were little boys then, and they came across the water with their parents, the grandparents we need only just remember. Some of these our fathers and our mothers, were not even made then, and the women, the young mothers, our grandmothers we perhaps just have seen once, carried these fathers and our mothers into the new world inside them, those women of the old world strong to bear them. Some looked very weak and little women, but even these so weak and little, were strong always, to bear many children.
Sincerely,
AGS
Categories:
advice
Posted: July 22nd, 2011
Dear Gertrude Stein,
I sometimes find myself frustrated with others’ success if I feel it is undeserved. This makes me feel petty and small. I also know from my reading of Marcus Aurelius that none of this matters since we’ll all be forgotten by those who have been forgotten before too long. Still, I feel a little smart when a contemporary gets an accolade or an opportunity that I don’t.
How can I rise above these baser feelings?
Signed,
Greedy
Dear Greedy,
A bag which was left and not only taken but turned away was not found. The place was shown to be very like the last time. A piece was not exchanged, not a bit of it, a piece was left over. The rest was mismanaged.
Sincerely,
AGS
Categories:
advice
Posted: July 20th, 2011
Dear Gertrude Stein,
Did Pablo Picasso ever attempt to engage in a Ménage à trois with Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera?
Sincerely,
Three’s Company
Dear Three’s Company,
Out of kindness comes redness and out of rudeness comes rapid same question, out of an eye comes research, out of selection comes painful cattle. So then the order is that a white way of being round is something suggesting a pin and is it disappointing, it is not, it is so rudimentary to be analysed and see a fine substance strangely, it is so earnest to have a green point not to red but to point again.
A PIECE OF COFFEE.
Sincerely,
AGS
Categories:
advice
Posted: July 19th, 2011
Dear Gertrude Stein,
I know that you were a prominent lesbian author, and attended Radcliffe College from 1893 to 1897, so I feel that you would be uniquely qualified to address this question. Whenever I talk to my neighbor about the boat, or getting the oars for the boat so that I can go and row it around the lake, he does not speak to me in English. Instead, he speaks another language, which I cannot understand. I would very much like to go and row the boat around the lake, and for that I need to get the oars from his barn. Do you think that I should attempt to draw a diagram for him that would indicate my need for the oars (so that I can row the boat around the lake), or would it be better to call the Mayor or the local Viking Cultural Knights?
thank you,
Offended in Finland
Dear Offended in Finland,
A man in his living has many things inside him, he has in him his important feeling of himself to himself inside him, he has in him the kind of important feeling of himself to himself that makes his kind of man ; this comes sometimes from a mixture in him of all the kinds of natures in him, this comes sometimes from the bottom nature in him, this comes sometimes from the natures in him that are in him that are sometime in him mixed up with the bottom nature in him, sometimes in some men this other nature or natures in him are not mixed with the bottom nature in him at any time in his living many of such men have the important feeling of themselves inside them coming from the other nature or natures in them not from the bottom nature of them.
Many men have sometime in their living the important feeling of themselves to themselves inside them, some men have always this feeling inside them, most men have such a feeling more or less in them, perhaps all men and mostly all women have sometime in them a feeling of themselves to themselves inside them ; this comes sometimes from a mixture in them of the kind of natures in them, this comes sometimes from the bottom nature of them, this comes sometimes from the natures in them that are mixed up with the bottom natures of them, sometimes in some of them the other nature or natures in them are not mixed with the bottom nature in them, many of such of them have the important feeling of themselves inside them coming from the other natures not from the bottom nature of them.
Mostly all men in their living have many things inside them. As I have just been saying the feeling of themselves inside them can come in different ways from the inside of them, can come in different ways in some of the many millions of one kind of men from the other millions of that same kind of them.
Sincerely,
AGS
Categories:
advice
Posted: July 19th, 2011
We are now accepting inquiries regarding cleaning tips, relationship issues, driving directions, and more (anything!). Just email askgertrude AT askgertrudestein DOT COM and all your problems will be solved!
Categories:
news
Posted: July 19th, 2011
